"The secret is how to die. Since the beginning of time, the secret had always been how to die."
Sounds pretty intense right? at least that's what I thought when I read the first line of Dan Brown's 'The lost symbol'. the reason I put this line forward in my blog is because it's a perfect example of how openers should be presented: they have to trigger your attention. any good opener -whether it is a pick-up line or an introduction phrase- can either make you or break you. Consequently, this puts your creativity to the test. take for example my blog: if I start my blog boring, you will lose attention and you will not continue reading what I wrote.
The underlying concept is very simple. it always is. every great person in history understood the importance of leaving behind a good impression. as we know, first impressions are the most important, for we never get a second chance to make a first impression. we base our initial opinions upon first impressions. why you think (most) people don't forget their first time sex?
There can only be one first time for everything we do. all the times after it -of course more sophisticated and improved- are just a repetition of that first time..
So does this mean that history repeats itself -like so many people believe it does-? this answer can be explained in more than one way. my first answer is that history repeats itself over and over again and that everything what happens, already happened -may it be in a different form, shape or size- some time in history before. all the great minds and philosophers living today -like the Dalai Lama- all had the same ideas -may it be in a different form, shape or size- as the great minds back in the days of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle.
Nothing is new, nothing is creative, everything what happens is merely a repeated action of what once was before. We are all the same, only our means changed over time. as Einstein once said: "I know not with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones."
The other side of the coin is that history does not repeat itself.. that we are in fact not doomed to live within an endless circle of repetition. the very fact that we are able to think about the concept of this "circle of repetition", implies that we are also able to change the way we perceive it; that we are thus capable of creating our own path, of stepping out of this vicious circle. as Nietzsche would like to think; it is in mankind's ability to transcend humanity's repetitive nature. such a being embraces the idea of continual change; of continual reinvention.
don't worry, I will not bother you with vague terms and I surely don't want to sound like a "New Age" manager, I'm simply stating that it is in our power to overcome our selves!
I believe that one can ultimately grow if one tries to set goals and conquers oneself. a winner is not someone who defeats others, a winner is someone who overcomes himself. the victory of a true winner is not measured by how many -external- opponents he defeats, but by overcoming his inner demons -his insecurities, fears, character flaws etc.-
In the last year, I have grown a lot. I have experienced a lot. not necessarily in the sense of doing activities -even tough that as well ;)- but I have experienced a lot of mental growth within myself. I could say I'm experiencing spiritual growth, but like I stated before, I don't want to sound too dreamy and vague.
One week ago, I came back from my girlfriend J. in Brasil. being back home in Amsterdam sometimes feel surreal. not that I'm dreamy or that I can not handle reality. on the contrary, reality becomes more and more a construct that I'm creating myself! it seems that nothing is out of reach for me!!! I have become more myself, more mature, more consistent and I feel as if the world is my playground. and trust me, this feels very good..
I feel in many ways completely fearless.... take for example my flight back home.. I was flying high above the sky, in a Boeing 777-300, 11 hours from Brasil to Amsterdam. next to me sat a big, masculine Brazilian guy/man. I knew that within the next half hour, we would be friends or enemies.. we became the latter.
we both did something very primal and very basic; defending our territory..
this was the situation: I was sitting on the aisle seat and he in the middle seat. we both wanted to rest our elbows on the armrest. the guy weighs over 100 kilo so it would be more fair to give him more space.
But then again, life is not fair..
Even tough I am not as big as my fellow traveler, I would not "surrender" and let him have the armrest. so after 10 minutes we both placed our elbows on the same small armrest and we both could sense the irritation. we both didn't want to give up..
After 20 minutes the "pushing" started to get more intense and I had to use force just to keep my elbow on the rest.. luckily, at one point we both found an agreeable position.
And it went well..
For no longer than 5 minutes..
After half an hour, I knew I had to make a choice. because he would not give up the armrest to me and I sure as hell would not give it up to him. now it had become personal.. so with an incredible force I pushed his elbow off the rest -with my elbow- to claim my place.
He looks at me and said something in Portuguese. I told him that if he wants to tell me something, to do it in English. he asked me -in an aggressive manner- what my problem is and why I am pushing his elbow away all the time?!
I looked at him -very deep in his eyes- focused and calmly, and said: "I am claiming my place. I want to have my elbow on this armrest and I will keep it here for the rest of this flight. will this be a problem for you?" (I said it very calmly, not with the slightest of aggression).. I don't know if he understood my English, -he didn't respond after my statement- but for the rest of the flight, his ENTIRE body (including his elbow ;) was moved away from me and I had all the space in the world.
Maybe this little story seems trivial or insignificant to you, but I felt I accomplished something very important. because it's not about some arm-lean, it's about representing yourself and standing up for what you believe in.
Another story:
The second day in Amsterdam me and one of my best friends J., went to Sugar Factory, Wicked Jazz Sounds. again here, the night gives you a variety of options. your character is being formed by the choices you make and the actions you undertake. we entered the club and when I looked around I said to myself that the night can develop in two ways: or I choose the easy way and just have a drink, dance a little bit, talk with some people -who don't hear what you say because of the loud music-, in other words: a regular fucking boring night.
Or, I give away a show and make sure I will be able to look at myself in the mirror afterwards and say: "yeah man, last night was a great night. you stole the show man!"
What you think I chose? ;)
Result: J. and me dancing jazz!! destroying the dancefloor. one girl even asked me if I'm a professional dancer, or if I took dance-lessons. I told her that I'm just a natural and continued my "choreography" ;). at one point I was dancing with another girl, S. and this was a dirty sex dance! I mean dirty DIRTY, that she was sweating on me! she, being a sexy blonde dancer, gave me her phone number and wanted to see me again. luckily my homie J. reminded me that I still have a girlfriend in Brasil, so I didn't get to the part of having sex with S... even tough I EASILY could have.
I am now back at Leeds, England, doing my university exchange programme. I just finished my essay -written for the first time in English- about 'The justification of inequality within societies'. but I don't expect you to care about it ;).
I always hear comments about my blog that my 'fans' only want to read about my sexual adventures and other wild and crazy stories. well let me tell you, life does not always have to be wild and crazy. it does not always have to be about sex -even tough sex is one of the most important things in life, better yet, it is the very purpose of our continuation of life!- for me, the concept of sex has changed a lot over the years. when I was first having regular sex -when I was a little horny teenager boy ;P- I was only thinking: "YES, I am fucking a nice girl now! YEAHHH!!!" but now I experience sex completely different. for me sex is now simply an extension of the social interaction with the girl. it is only natural to have sex with a girl, after a pleasant conversation with her -of course ONLY if she is nice (I may be one of the pickiest guys alive, no joke)-. once the "click" is established, 9 out of 10 times, sex will happen naturally.
But I don't want to talk too much about sex now, because I only miss my girlfriend J. I dislike the fact that she lives all the way in fucking Brasil, but like I told G. many times before: she is worth it, especially because the sex with her is ABSURDLY GREAT!!! saying that she is my best sex ever is an understatement.. !!!
J., I know you read my blog and I can only tell you that I sincerely have very intense feelings for you -most people would call it love- and I'll see you again soon, whether it's in Brasil, Holland or in the UK..
PS. I know for a fact that many people read my blog (when I see my friends, they always comment me about something I wrote), but now I even have some official "blogfollowers". even tough I never met some of these people, they are somehow interested in what I have to say. So, G., I take it as a compliment! thanks! I read your blog too and I'll keep an eye out on it.
Keep on bloggin' and keep on rockin', because we are all fuckin' rockstars, even if it is only in our minds ;)
Cheers,
A.