St. Nicholas party 2010

This is how I first remember seeing Sinterklaas in the 1990s when I was growing up. As a young boy, my father once took me to the Sinterklaas parade. When I saw the elderly man riding the white gray, I asked my father: "Daddy, who is that man?" On which he responded that he is Sinterklaas; ruler of the church, bishop of Myra, but above all, patron saint of children and sailors. Being a young boy, I didn't understand any of those words. I asked my father what he is doing here and why everyone is looking at him. On which he stated that Sinterklaas is here to give presents to the children that have been good in the past year... and to punish those who have been bad. Being a young boy -without any moral sense of good and bad- I somehow feared punishment.

I asked my father if I had been a good boy myself. But before he could answer, a black faced demon appeared in front of me... a face as dark as the con of man... I recollected some of the rumors I heard at school a couple of days earlier. Rumors about Black Petes, servants of the holy man. According to myths, Black Pete was a name for the devil. Having triumphed over evil, it was said that on Saint Nicholas eve the devil was shackled and made his slave. The devilishly figure now accompanies Sinterklaas and helps him on his rounds giving presents to the good children and punishing the bad ones. It is said that when children had been bad, Black Pete forcefully abducts them and takes them to the dungeons of Myra (Turkey in present-day).

Luckily for me, I had been a good boy. And even if I hadn't been, my father would not allow Black Pete to kidnap me.

I was wrong...

Black Pete took me out of the crowd and led me to Saint Nicholas. I started crying and screaming... "Daddy, daddy, help me!" But alas... it was too late. Before I knew it, I stood there... helplessly... eye to eye with the holy Saint Nicholas, the man who would decide about my fate.

The wizard with white hair and a long, full beard cryptically looked at me as though he somehow knew about all the mischief I had been plotting... fear fell upon me. He asked my name. "A." I spoke with a trembling voice. "So tell me, A." the man in the red cape responded, "Have you been a good boy this year?" "Y.. yes" I stumbled... "Hmm I see." he calmly said. "And will you continue being a good boy?" he asked me with a glare of displeasure. I had no other choice but to say "Yes, sir." "Good, young boy. And what present would you like to have?" he asked of me, while his servant just took me out of the crowd moments earlier. "I just want to go back to my daddy..." I quiveringly said. "Off you go, young boy. But don't make me come for you next year..." he ominously concluded.

This little interaction with the mysterious figure known as Sinterklaas, made me realize that I have to live my life as a good boy. It was only years later that I faced my naiveness and found out the truth about Sinterklaas. And as with all things, the truth is rarely pure and never simple. Yet, all truths are easy to understand once they are discovered. The point is simply to discover them.

In light of discovering truth; Sint party 2010

 

 

With love, 

 

Mansion 27 - Approach Anxiety

Gangsters in the back of the bus

This is something I have to write about before I forget it. It is something I observed 65 minutes ago in bus 65.

Those who occasionally take bus 65 -or any other bus for that matter- probably have noticed the "gangsters" in the back of it. And by gangsters I don't refer to the money-making druglords such as Scarface, Corleone or Escobar; I'm talking about the wannabe-gangsters -loudly voiced, cracking jokes, clownish adolescents; "wangsters" is how 50 would call them.

Yet despite their unmistakable presence, they are actually able to generate fear among other passengers. Perhaps fear would be too much of a word to describe it, but whatever it may be is rooted in the fight-or-flight response.

Indeed, today I literally saw with my own eyes how the fight-or-flight response manifests itself in practice. When passengers got out of the bus, I noticed that almost all of them took the exit that was further away from where they sat or stood. I even saw one guy -sitting two meters away from the back-exit- walking all the way to the exit at the front of the bus.

WTF???

This guy literally sat one foot away from the back-exit, but chose to make a journey to the front-exit..

When I saw that happen, the dynamics of the 48 laws of power made sense to me in a way I could never imagine! If you think about it, it's so crazy... some punks in the back of the bus were able to make another person take a different route! A route he probably wouldn't take if those punks were absent. Could it be more obvious on which end of the fight-or-flight spectrum the friendly passenger found himself?

For this reason alone I chose to walk to the back-exit, for the sake of possible confrontation; for the sake of "fighting". Not that I'm aggressive or suicidal or anything, but every opportunity that arises to test my character -both physically and mentally- is an opportunity I am obliged -if not compelled- to take.

So as I was taking the journey toward the back-exit (I stood near the bus driver, so I actually passed by the front-exit), I could sense the release of adrenalin.

As the adrenalin was running through my entity and as I was preparing myself mentally for the possibility of physical combat, serenity fell upon me.. I was calm and energetic in the same time. I felt like Maximus before facing death at the Colosseum.

My moment of glory however, didn't last very long. In fact, those punks in the back of the bus didn't disturb or confront me at all! All that adrenalin was for nothing! I guess nothing is what it seems; those gangsters were minding their own business. And it doesn't matter whether that business involves drugs, making jokes or confronting others, the real lesson to be learned here is that it shouldn't affect you in any way!

Fear is what stops people from doing what they want. And what they want can be something major or something as insignificant as exiting the bus. Know this: there is nothing to fear in life. Nothing. Not even the end of it.

Life is what it is. Life is strange, but only because we fear it and keep our eyes turned from it. Men are men and life is life, and we must deal with them as they are; and if we want to change them, we must deal with them in the form in which they exist.

With love,

A.

Some videos just have to be posted... this is one of them.